问题标题:
【谁能帮我改一下托福作文inordertosucceed,youshouldbemorelikeothersthanbedifferentfromeveryone.Inthesociety,peoplealwaysconfrontsomedilemmawhetheryoushouldfollowothersordosomedifferentforgainingthesuccess.Al】
更新时间:2024-04-25 11:25:37
问题描述:

谁能帮我改一下托福作文

inordertosucceed,youshouldbemorelikeothersthanbedifferentfromeveryone.

Inthesociety,peoplealwaysconfrontsomedilemmawhetheryoushouldfollowothersordosomedifferentforgainingthesuccess.Althoughfollowingthetrendssothatyoucannottaketherisks,doingthethingsthataredifferentfromothersmaygetasurprisedharvest.Itisnodoubtthatmakeachangeorchallengingtheprinciplesmayresultinatragedyending.Butnooneknowswhowillbethenextchampion.Frommypointofview,doyourspecialwayismoreimportantthanjustimitateothersforsuccess.

Tobeginwith,innovationistheefficientapproachtoreachyourgoals.Fromthefamousscientists'experience,suchasEdison,wecaneasilygetaconclusionthatconstantlydiscoveringthenewthingstogetawayfromtheboundariesisthefastmethodtogetsuccess.Inspiteofthefactthatnewthingsarealwaysaccompaniedwithcriticsounds,asthesayinggoes,"rainbowcomesfromastorm".Inaddition,innovationmeansyoumakeadifferencesothatyoucanobtainadifferentlife.Ifyoualwaysfollowothersfeet,youjustbecomeatailofothersandneverbeahead.

Ontopofthat,personalityistheuniquethingthatoursocietyistryingtopursuefor.Eachpersonistheonlyoneitemintheworld.Withthedevelopingsociety,agreatofdealofpeopledonotwanttocriticsomethingthatitisreallywrongbecauseittakessomerisks.Evensomepeoplemaythinkthatitisnotrelatedwithme.Asaresult,thesocietycannotmakeaprogressfromalongrun.Ontheopposite,somepeoplecanspeakhonestly.Itseemstomethatonlythepeople,whocanusethesharpwordstoattackagainstthefoe,willbethebravesoldiers.Therealtheorywillbecontrolledbythispeople.Itillustratedthatpersonalitymakespeoplemoreintelligentandbrave.

Thelastbutnottheleast,,whereasbesimilarwithothersseemstomoresafestrategyintermsofsuccess,youcanhardlybeoutstandinginnumerouscompetitors.Ifyousolelyjustimitateothers,youwillbeemergedintotheareaandcannotfindyourownregion.Howaclearthoughtthatbedifferentwithothers!Notonlycanbeyoudiscoveredeasily,butalsoyoucanhaveaccesstotargetthatyoumade.Hencebeingyourselfcontributetoyoursuccess.

Restate

董靖川回答:
  差不多22分左右,结构没什么问题了,但是语法上问题比较多,特别是你基本上不怎么会用动名词,很多地方动词该用变形都没变,这种错误多了会影响到你的作文的起评分.还有其它问题的话就私信我好了.
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